Use to wonder::
1. Who will visit me?
2. What will they remember me for?
3. Who will be sad and crying?
4. Will they miss me?
5. What will they whisper into my ears?
if 1 day ever I shall be gone...my funeral or at e hospital.
Just to know what people thot of me and who I was to them. Purely cause pple seldom express deir true feelings bout a person to dem. Let them noe e impact and status dey had on their lives.
So here goes. Mushy to speak of but...
Love u babes n guys a lot! Every single one of my friends n my family. Each and every single one of u hold an important title and role in my heart. U r kept n cherished n always remembered n missed for sth definitely. Be it a pat on e back or what we have been thru.

Love is simple.
But,
Relationship complicates everything.

Im really not social worker material. If I m I would probably sink into Great Depression! Problems plaguing my chums are affecting me quite a bit. Mood got on a roller coaster ride recently, porbably tryin to break some world record. It hasnt gotten off that ride, still up der sumwher. Im sorry~Im LAME.

Cant stand to see/hear e words "CANT TAKE IT" anymore. It has been a frequent visitor dis few days. I Cant take it in e presence of dis 3 words!

People are losing their rationality. Losing it. It's scary. Ever seen someone close to u experiencing it? Trust me. You wldn want that to happen but if it does. You will want to be der for ur fren more den running away from him. You will wan to gif e person a reassuring hug, let him/her noe that e world is not tumbling down. Everything is and will be fine!
Knew of a fren who suddenly lost it for a moment. I was so worried that I almost broke down in Ting's lecture. Just wanted to run out of e lecture and give him a call and put my arms ard him to tell him things will be fine. Face was black throughout the entire lecture. Heart n mind was somewhere else.
Babes! Take care of urself okie...

You all know that Im not e/a person to blurt out "BLOODY HELL"[u all know who it belongs to rite?Blondie?hehe...] when I get pissed off so that was a 1st for me yesterday during pool session. You can also say that it was e 1st time I lost my cool n blew my top aft entering SIM towards pple ard me. Dun u sometimes feel that it's alright for some pple to do certain things but when others try to mimic, you jus get so irritated n pissed off u jus wanna go " keh kiang!*roll eyes*" Worse still when you have already expressed your dissatisfaction and anger but he jus doesn get it?!? and tries to sneak in another comment sumwher! Eh! Im only human! My tolerance level is limited, normally when I dun say a thing doesn mean I dun mind. It probably just implies that I dun wan the friendship to turn sour n make things difficult for others ard us. u all shld noe how Im like when my face turns black rite![esp tp dragons. hehe! paisei le!] Dun push ur luck!

Anyway Im in skool now. Using the cyber stations to blog. Waiting for karen n stara n ant n ric!

This entry wld probably be full of anger n hatred! Haahaa!
Came to skool wif Blondie tdy. Yeah!!! Haahaa! FIRST time wor! Der was this uncle sitting nxt to her hu was reading his newspapers but kept "checking" us out! Like we were some punks. RUDE. I kept staring at him whenever he does that budden apparently my panda eyes r no match for his 4 eyes la huh!

OH! N tdy I experienced a v dreadful feeling juz now. So dreadful that I was actually feeling butterflies in my tummy. Hmmm. No. Wrong. I was dreading sth so much that I actually had butterflies in my tummy. Yap! That's right! A bad feeling! Super duper bad! Till I didn eat lunch! *hungry*hungry*RUbtUMMY*RUbtUMMY*

jus came back frm e rainbow water falls trip!!! WOOHOo!!! tho e sun didn shine n e rainbow didn appear budden it was a FAB trip nevertheless!!! tho i sustained 2 leech bites, countless bites on my legs n thunderous thighs, or ceh[blue-black], shifted vein at e ankle joint n countless wooo-arr[due to numerous almost-slips n falls]BEST rite!!!
haahaa.i hated e trip up to mt panorama!!! all e steps n e deep breaths!!! n my calves were so tite dey almost exploded!!! but again e view was WoOOO BAGUS! ren2 jian1 tian1 tang2!!! now i noe y papa used to say tat pple wld jump down frm e peak into e clouds tinkin tat dey were headed towards paradise n heaven. check out e pict later!!! muahahaha!!!
at 1st i was e 1st few in front trudgin on in e end i was e last few. how lousy my stamina is now... wher is my dragon boat training!!! haahaa. thanks to aizah hu being so petite was e victim of my fall at e waterfalls n offered to carry my load for me up mt panorama n to louis hu halfway took my 1.5l bottle wifout me realising it was him coz he wanted to lighten my load! THANK U to all hu HELPED ME!!! oh! n jarrod too! hu helped me tui1 my leg n guided me down e waterfalls! thankS!!!
n e ride on e lorry was fun!!! haahaa! like jurassic trailers! haahaa! n all e singing songs on e way back! MEMORIES! haahaa! okie! cant mention everything! let e picts speak for demselves!!! to everybodi hu made e trip fun n funner n funnest!!! muahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! grps 1 2 3 4 !!!
muahahaha!
budden now im sufferin e consequences of e trip! ITCHY!!!!! muahaha! tryin to keep my hands busy so tat i wun scratch! huRR!!!

die die die!!! tis sat goin sentosa budden me legs look like i got sum infectious skin disease!!! HURRHURRHURR!!!!

neway im goin fer jay chou concert! at last tho i tolf myself tat i was die die goin to his 1st n 2nd concert budden failing to go for both now at last!!! YEAH! ok la! thanks to lex la...if not i will never get moving! at 1st he called i tot he bot a tic for himself n tat he was tryin to get me to go budden ididn noe he actually bot 2 priced at $128each n asked ard to see if anybody wanted tp take up e other seat!!! so now im gOIN!!!!!yeah!!!

okok...on fone now! be back for more later!

a blackened me! 

a sad han...haiz... 

WoooO... 

CHARMAIN tAN! 

shu fen!!! 

1. Your real name: Zheng Kai Jie
2. What friends call you: Kai Jia Fatimah Kaidi Merlion
3. What your boyfriend/girlfriend calls you: Hehe! Im single n unavailable.
4. What's a name you once wished you'd rather have? Ashley Kai
5. What is/are the ugliest name(s) you can think of? Monica Cheng etc.
6. If there was a song about you, what would it be called? Misunderstood happiness. [ rubbish ] 7. What would you name your kids? Ashley Aaron Tara Jamie
8.What would you name a ship you built?: Kai
9. If you were to write a book, what would it be called? Barbie World.
10. Thrown up in public? Wahaha! Merlion in a cab considered???
11. Eaten or drank anything spoiled? Sure! i eat rubbish!
12. Had a rip in your pants you didn't know about? At least i knew.
13. Tripped while checking someone out?: Im such a pro at falling! netime newhere oso can fall! 14. Had to pay for something you broke?: Nope!
15. Nearly drowned? Erm NOPE but e thot tat i was engulfed in greenish sea water was freaky!
16. Passed out? No la.Not yet. Nobody wld b able to carry me.
17. Had a crush on somebody? muahahaha. Im Guilty.
18. Been stuck in the rain? Ya man! so many times! But i carry UMBRELLA wor!
19. Been attacked by an animal? Thot a sheep was coming for me til i realise i was juz standin in its path to FOOD! Kena harrassed by my uncle's dog on e swing when i was a lot younger.
20. Caught people having sex? Erm. Nope?
21. Fallen asleep while driving? No license yet lo! But im super prone to snoring away in e car. Think it's luxurious.haahaa!
22. Actually slipped on a banana peel? Erm no la!
23. Made a wish that came true? YAP!
24. A dirty old guy at the airport slaps your ass? Dey wun dare! haahaa! budden a fren once did to me in skool!
25. Somebody was about to steal your car? No car...
26. You wake up with a billion spiders crawling all over you and your bed? NO!!! not now not in e future!!!
27. You farted while giving a persuasive speech in class? Laugh it off but nope!
28. You had three wishes? Fairy tale stereotypes! haahaa!
29. Britney Spears was at your front door asking for jumper cables? ?!?
30. You had a time machine?: Bai3 Swee4! haahaa! no la! peep into e past n future n KPO everything! haahaa!
31. Would you rather find the cure for cancer or the cure for aids?: CANCER!!!
32. Would you rather have the power to fly, or the power to teleport? Fly!!! It's a childhood dream!!! haahaa!
33. Would you rather have the power to see the future, or the power to record your dreams?: The future!
34. Would you rather be really skinny, or really fat?: Lets face it! Really skinny!
35. Would you rather be lost in a forest, or stuck in a box?: Forest!
36. Would you rather be in a drama movie, or a comedy? Drama. I can be qite a drama mama!haahaa!
37. Would you rather be in a hip hop video or a rock video?: Erm. Hip rock?
38. Would you rather have your birthday on Christmas Day, or on February 29th?: Xmas! Cosy feeling!
39. Would you rather live in the sewer, or in Afghanistan? e latter!
40. Would you rather be in a mental institution or in a penitentiary? The latter! I wld be driven mad or accused of being one in mental instit.
41. Would you rather snow board or hang glide: Hang glide!
42. Would you rather be a ninja or a pirate?: Ninja! WoOooOOHoOOo

my BLONDIE!!! 

alex's ear!!! 

tis is VON! our miss paddle coz she is v slim n tall! our bai yi tian shi coz she v caring!!! 

haahaa. okok! it started frm e day b4. disseminated info bout sat's kopi gatherin n ser asked wht i wanted to go SHOPPING tdy. but i oso wanted to go for e intro to db if der was ne so told her i will get back to her e nxt day. yest, still nth frm e db stuff. gave up n asked ser " shopping still on?"n she is soSosOSO fast lo. replied wif e time n place to meet set! tat is ser when it comes to shopping. haahaa. righto babe? haahaa.

neway. we didn even hav to discuss wher to n our legs brot us to orchard. BEST rite. tis 2 automatic shopaholics lo! haahaa. went far east 1st. everything we see is KIV! keep-in-view. aft returning to e lil match girl shop for e 3rd time, ser bot her bag n me bot mine aft at least 2 times tdy n on 2 other occasions. me got my knee guard at last too! oh yap! i bot a red n white jac frm FOX! never tot i wld get it der budden yap! i got it! aft perfect maketing skills frm ser n char n VON n alex n shufen! haahaa!

like ser said! when it comes to shopping nobodi can beat e 2 of us! we r e UNBEATABLES! coz we can walk all e way frm far east to heerens n back aft a round coz we wanted sth frm far east. with NO complaints. n we r especially proficient in express shopping. budden we r both sun2 you3's coz we will sumtimes sumhow pyscho u to buy e stuff unintentionally.haahaa. n we will feed u wif so much laughter u will *peng*! haahaa.

btw for ur info. a blondie is a non-brown brownie which i baked tat day a bit like biscotti. n apparently sum1 linked it to bimbotice-ness so derfor i called ser blondie[for obvious reasons] n im e brownie budden sum smart ger came up wif " im a guidy" DIAO! sum pple r like pop-ups lo! catchin u accidentally n by surprise. tdy. tis ger kept goin "SHORT HAIR" at all e weird n funny unexpected times! den des once when i popped my head outta e dressing rm right at wher her head was n she happened to turn ard n face my face! we both jumped! haahaa n when i was tokin to han she had to go "hello han" in tis tone of hers! hiyo! BLONDIE! budden again! wad do i do wifout her! *oRhHhhhh* haahaa! love ya babe!haahaa!

tried a butterfly halter tdy...looks not bad accordin to ser budden bu she de. n oso tis white n green halter which was at 20% off. v nice n tempted to budden didn lo! haiz...so guai budden sumhow i knew i wld tink n tink n retink n still wun buy. juz like e le coq sportif bag n muji jacket! i ve been sayin tat fer ages! i saw e perfect lcs bag tdy tat i wld ve gotten definitely last time budden not tis time round. perhaps my way of dressin has changed? it wld have gone v well wif my dressin last time budden oddly now. tho i still love it. e only ting frm stoppin me frm buyin e muji jac is e price::$86 lo! haiz... budden juz like a pair or sports shoes. u noe u wan tat pair when no matter wher u go u juz keep lookin fer tat pair...more of a love at 1st sight! i ve come to realise tat it applies to jackets too! haahaa.

hmm...suan le...shant complain le. budden i definitely wanna get e ripcurl pencil case i guess. n WATCH! haahaa. oh! my wallet showed a sign or wearin of tdy. juz when ser is ard! haahaa. a reason to get a new wan? haahaa!
Thanks SER!

den went to meet char n sf n alex n VON! haahaa. went to makan at pasta mania. while we were der all of us whipped out our camera fones to take pict of alex coz he was still usin a non-cam fone. haahaa! evil rite! haahaa! den drank peach milk tea at mos burger. borrowed han's bag for trip to m'sia. a lot of rubbish in hiz bag! haahaa. at 1st he say only tissue paper den gif me. in e end. i found a CAROM seed. a nikon memory card. n 50 yen coin! haahaa!saw momo monster too! haahaa. tried to act cool by flippin up his collar buddenn i folded it down! haahaa. shld hav taken a foto! haahaa! LOVE meetin u guys man! seriously! see u all tml! n ser take care! wad do i do wifout u all??? *MUAKZ*

this is wad 1 of dem looks like tdy aft i reached hm...e back ting broke!!! haiz...guess i will break e other too...$6.90...its frm a push-cart in level 1...haahaa..pls do QC! to tink im a qualified QC...haiz... 

bout my pair of PERFECT earring yest... 

Your full name? Zheng Kai Jie
What gets you relaxed after a hard day's work?A good hot shower n scrubdown. Kopi @ lao di fang.
How long did your last conversation on the phone last? 45secs.
What would you carry along on a first date? NOTHING unusual.
What are you dreaming of? a slim kJ. hMmm... leaves a lot to b desired ar? haahaa!
Where would you choose to go on a first date? He decides. But hopefully a place where we will feel @ ease.
How do you react to a secret admirer? Erm. If i dun reciprocate? Dun like me coz i wun. But i believe in keepin e frenship der!
What do you usually do when you're sad? Cry. Listen to my trustworthy but make-me-feel-worse-by-pitying-myself tracks or find a victimising listening ear.
Finish the sentence. Mirror mirror on the wall...who's e fattest in e world?
What does your favorite color say about you? Red. Spanish dou4 nu2. Stubborn like a bull. Agressive n fiery @ times but loud n big!
Psychology 101, pick one of these words:Caring, Rich, Popular, Cute, Generous...Caring.
Psychology 101, pick one of these words:Mean, Rude, Poor, Ugly, Selfish...Rude
What's your idea of a perfect Valentine's day gift? Him.
Do you easily fall in love? YES!
If you were a dessert, what kind of dessert would you be? Almond jelly. Distinct flavor.
What do you miss in your relationship? Knowing that u will never be forsaken by a person hu shares a strong connection wif u n knows u inside out. Familiarity.
Are you a faithful person? Definitely!
Are you a jealous person? Yap! Im a cancerian n i ve no qualms admitting!
Are you shy in expressing your feelings? Used to but its loosening now.
You did something wrong. Instead of being a human, God punish you to be an animal, what animal would you be? Panda.
Psychology 101, a box is lying on the road,and you picked it up. A magazine. Preferably cleo! haahaa.
If you could enter a movie, any movie. LOTR. Arwen. haahaa. Either that or a perfect fairy tale love story like Drew Barrymore's Cinderella or Charlie's Angels. Muahaha!
Is it easy for you to smile? Yap Yap.
Do you yell when you're in a fight with yourbf/gf/spouse? Ya man!
After a fight with your bf/gf/spouse, you aremost likely to do what? Call someone n while talkin realise tat im oso at fault.
Are you modern or traditional? Traditional Core values in a modern society!
To you, a great night with my lover wouldinvolve doing what? Talking bout everything under e stars!
How do you feel about public displays ofaffection? As long as u r not annoying me. It's fine. Unlike sum fat ang-moh "fat ass" hu was dancin wif tis SPG n kept pushin n irritating everybody ard dem. Get lost. Dey can like make out on e dance floor already!
What do you think of premarital sex? "Just Do it!" haahaa. like real! Nope. No. Not.
Make a wish, a good one! Everybody to be truely happy!

me n duoling!!! jie mei hua!!! this babe rocks e dance floor lo. juz look at her seh guys will melt lo! 

me n ps gettin ready. she is babelicious rite! she looked like a retro babe lo! me is juz me in my prison wear! haahaa! 

yest went ZHONG GUO HEI wif ps n duoling. tho only e 3 of us budden its realli super soli lo! haahaa!!! comparin zouk n chinablack...hmmm...i seem to like e latter more. der was at least hei yan dou dou n those tat will make u scream n shout in exhileration!!! WoOhooO!!! haahaa. ps n duoling r still as babe-ish as ever lo. never failing to catch guys' attention. bud seriously if im a guy i wld b drawn to dem too! yest sum guys asked whether dey can join us dance. haahaa. kinda funny actually. we didn say no to dis particular guy n his fren. for 1 we all agree dat e guy hu kan4 shang4 ps definitely doesn look e buaya kind. Shy. tats e word. haahaa. tho 21 he looks young n his smile is quite charming tho a bit short. haahaa. while his fren is more like a social butterfly disappearin into e crowds leavin him quite paisei ard us 3 crazy party-like-des-no-tml char bors! haahaa. SER! wher r u??? haiz... e only ting i drank was FRUIT PUNCH n a sip of dry whiskey? tasted like coke. haahaa. n once again i was lugging a HUGE-mongous bag to club again. sorry la. got books n clothes n shoes n jac ma. haahaa. in e end dey both dumped deir bags in mine n created a super large bag. haahaa. it was super kool la yest. haiz...i juz wan to tell u gals [ u noe hu u r ]
I MISS YA ALL A LOT ALOT ALOT!!! LOVE YA ALL N TAKE CARE!!!

neway, i reached hm at 3 n concussed at 4am only to wake up at 0730 lo. got skool still early nxt morn still club rite? haahaa. sigh. wad to do? haahaa. neway i almost concussed during IBM lect was seriously counting seconds at 1 pt in time. im supposed to be catchin up on my ZzzZzs now budden mood to blog so yap! haahaa! neway thanks angdao fer e ride to skool yap. thanz eric fer e ride to orchard juz now when it was raining!

oh ya! haahaa. sth farnie kinda. happened juz now. when i was on e train, i pratically concussed definitely an igly site! haahaa. at 1 pt in time i act felt my forehead brush against my left side neighbours shoulder n i immediately sat straight up budden continue concussing of coz. But when i woke up, my right side neighbours was literally forehead on e tip of my shoulder n KO-in lo. he looks like our age malay guy. ser...i can see u laughin lo n sayin tings tat is of "des a basis fer everything" arbo my affinity wif dem rite. haahaa.

neway. brushin tat aside.. wo yao ZzzZzz le...
budden b4 i sleep. here's fer everyone hu has exams! if not i will ve nitemares::
GOOD LUCK n JIA YOU! U CAN DO IT! JIAN CHI DAO DI!!! WO HUI YONG YUAN ZHI CHI NI DE! esp to my dragons n my jrs n VON!

me n SHUAI GE::yao long...haahaa...honoured...like jie di ba... 

my da xiang!!! frm alex! hao jia mei! 

Presents frm vai... 

my pa di xiong!!! 

ah long..dragon boat JR...SHUAI ba..! tall dark n handsome + vain oso...e person cut off is his gf so dun even tink bout it! 

ve been sleepin at unearthly hrs recently. like last "nite" i slept at 530AM den i juz took another 3 hrs nap. durin e latter i actually had a marathon-ic dream which is not realli a nitemare but it had a -ve vibe to it. that's wad has been recurring every nite. either that or i will find it hard to zZz. my mind wld be bombarded by loads of stuffs like pouring rain. HURR.

NIX RIC TANN! 

PICTURE PERFECT! 

dun u tink look like an album poster??? KOOL!!! 

angdao=caught in e act=bio-ing char bo!!! 

Gop-ed tis frm a fren's blog::
A lecturer was giving a lecture to his students on stress management.
He raised a glass of water and asked the audience, "How heavy do you think this glass of water is?"
The students' answers ranged from 200g to 700g."
It does not matter on the absolute weight.
It depends on how long you hold it.
If I hold it for a minute. It is OK.
If I hold it for an hour, I will have an ache in my right arm.
If I hold it for a day, you will have to call an ambulance.
It is the exact same weight but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

"If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, we will not be able to carry on as the burden becoming increasingly heavier.
What you have to do is to put the glass down , rest for a while before holding it up again."
We have to put down the burden periodically, so that we can be refreshed and are able to carry on.
So before you return home from work tonight, put the burden of work down.
Don't carry it back home.
You can pick it up tomorrow.
Whatever burdens you are having now on your shoulders, let it down for a moment if you can. Pick it up again later when you have rested.
Rest and relax.
Life is short.
Thanx ar angdao...

made a self-discovery bout myself tdy while i was chatting wif stara n ant.
evolution of me.
pri skool:: 92% diam diam 8% bubbliness
ahs:: 73% jing4 jing4 27% bubbliness
tpjc:: 51% quietness 49%b bubbliness
sim:: 6% kiddo 21% deep n analytical thinker 73% bubbliness
e older i get e more bubbly i get? "act" young? fan2 lao3 huan2 tong2? hmmm

happily ever after reigns in everybody's heart. searchin fer tat ONE. holding onto TRUE LOVE. does true love exist? at least i believe so.

have i been deeply traumatised before thus resulting in the behavior n views i hold towards love? pyschological fears?

Im not a girly girl, definitely not ladylike in fact more cu1 lu3 like a brudder before guys.
I can be fierce like a tigress, stubborn like a bull.
Cancerian traits:: Over-sensitive n prob even jealousy? Highly conscious about my surroundings just that sometimes i dun spell dem out. Pretty much observant.
Can be really acidic n sarcastic.
Think deep and 've always been thinking too much. Analytical when it comes to pple?
Look like a panda/teddy. Definitely not conventional pretty. Haahaa.
Have a hippo cum elephant fig. Dua jia.
Look like a potato-pie or even malay BUT deep down inside im pretty much cheena! Bilingual.
Quite bubbly n vivacious. Confidence for myself has definitely surged over e years. Look at easy with myself.
First impression may seem like im innocent n naive( ve not seen enough of the real world) Funky dresser who has a happening life? Look sporty and i like big and loud and colorful stuffs.
High tolerance threshold. But quick tempered. Explosion of tears when it's e time to empty my bucket.

used to be e deep thinker...pondering over issues aka "Friendship" "Mycharacter" etc...

Soci test on wed. haven realli got my facts rite. i get e whole pict bud get quite screwed up when it gets to e minute details. *sigh*will DEFINITELY study ltr. i promise.

Really wan to feel a sense of belonging to a ONE CLUB. Juz like how i was to tpjc dragons n ahs choir. Havent found it in SIM yet. Probably coz we dun have regular meetings n not quite settled in tis aspect. Im not sure whether i wan to go for e waterfall trip. I noe it's sth i wldn wan to pass up e chance for but sth is holding me back. I really dunno wad n why. I guess i will goin down to skool tml to check it out! n most prob i will decide to go n make e full payment!

which makes me miss dragons n tpjc n ahs pple a lot! haiz. n its not helpin tat i ve been uploadin all e past yrs fotos into my own laptop. lookin at all e smiley faces n e story behind each foto realli brings back a lot...

how would u feel if u realise tat sum1 u like in e past has actually been carrying a torch fer sumone else fer ages? tho its in e past... silly? of do u feel fer tat past crush of urs?

1st floor::annie 2nd::duo-ling 3rd::ser TOP::ME 

me n e WABBIT!muahaha! 

me n seekee! MAMBO nite! 

Qf n kren wif a prisoner!